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On Bended Knee. . . Peace-d

It is on bended knee that I approach my blog with what nearly a century of living has taught.  With what I have learned of our holographic universe,  acknowledging talents given at birth or contracted for I must speak my experience.

It is a linear world we live in to help us learn.  It can be counted on being.  It is also a prime example that all time is simultaneous.  The past is still happening,  the future has already happened and we in the present race to catch up with it.  The following was one of the first posts I wrote 6 years ago when I first blogged. My life has stood me in good stead.  It has been all of a piece and I would be foolish to deny it.

September, 2011. . . . It is a trying thing we do.  We want to understand what we remember of a specific time when all we have are bits of memories and what historians say went on at the time.   But we cannot take as fact all that we read or hear.  Everything written cannot be taken as gospel.   Everything heard cannot be taken without question.  What we have in our memory bank we get in snatches and try to make as much sense out of them as we can.

 For when we try to do more than this, we are playing a guessing game.   It is also a guess when we are not certain whose memories we are jousting with.   Are they our memories of this life or perhaps other lives of ours as more of the world believes or perhaps even of distant or ancient ancestors written into our DNA?   Are we responsible for unfulfilled talents or love not returned?   Can we or should we put to rest our ancestors’ anguish?

 And what about all the historians’ views of history?  How much of it is conjecture?   How much of it is piecing what bits can be garnered to fill in the spaces when the times themselves have left no record?   There is much that can be retrieved through concerted research.  But retrieved also must be the long lost habit of conversation with aging persons.  There is much that oral history will reveal that written history has neglected to mention.  

It is a hard work we do to find a putting place for memories.   But it is one way to find out who holds the candle for each of us. 

Peace-d. . .

The numbers are few
who can share in this journey
that takes a lifetime
to get to the heart of oneself.

One learns to walk through
the warm woods of one’s empty house
to find the communion
with invisible friends
when a soul across the table is not.

The immediate pressure of voices
long gone have ears aching
but there is a conversation of saints
and the company of good minds
commingling;  kindred spirits housed in thought.

Confrontation of points hidden within centuries
of genetic history has one acutely conscious
of love freely given and healing accomplished.
As we are given the capacity to love,
Spirit within gives that capacity also to the Other.

And pieces of The All That Is will be peace-d.

(poem written March,  2016)

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Come Veronica, there is a bridge we can sell you. . .

The old argument came up about my impracticality. Others have difficulty following me.  Yet I was seeing to home maintenance over the years with no help, 20 white shirts a week ironed, suits pressed, meals on time, lawns manicured,  and best of all, children reared and raised in love.  And office work for those many years.  How impractical?

Our teacher son said that had he seen the growth in his students that he saw in his grandmother after she arrived to be in my care,  he would never have left the classroom.  I see as I always have so why must I explain connections to make a problem understood?  Mine is not an engineering mind and am not credentialed.  How do these people get degrees who don’t see the commonplace?  The teachers asked me to explain my day of choice.  The following I lifted from a journal entry of October, 2010.

(Wonderful day raking the leaves.  I felt as if I were a violin and the heavens were playing me.  The heavens were the bow that played on my heart and I sung with a high vibration through almost two or more hours.  It was wonderful.

This day was a gift.  This is how I connected in our yard with the All that was in me and in everything.   I was the god and the god was everything about me.   In my arms and the swing of the rake and the beauty of the day and the breath I took with my body.

I was the song and the instrument on which the All played.  I was the melody and I was the song.   And the day was the symphony behind me.   It was how it was for me when I was twelve and we moved to The Farm.  I connected with my earth and my earth was me and I was the god and the god was everything.)

The Teachers responded with . . . only another like you would relate.  The connection you have with your earth and you said, in love with it, is what we wanted for everyone.  How would you go about teaching this connection?  Or explain it to your beloveds?  You tell about virtue in labor and beauty in the doing,  and they resent you.  Not everyone sees the connections.  To them physical labor is grunt work.  But you sing with it and though your body pains,  you praise the day.  Who understands this kind of thinking today?

People text while they walk,  while they motor and while they make love.  What world could we give to you to teach virtue in labor,  beauty in the doing?  Come, Veronica,  there is a bridge or perhaps a world to sell to you?

Listen To Me, dear Earth. . .

This space where my sounds
break out into form and
I see, I see, and I knew it
all the time.

So listen to me, dear Earth,
and sea and sky,
for I speak your language and
hear your sound and hear your music.

And it is all for me,  for me.
The tension in my body
is the lyre upon which your music
is played.

My mind is my opening to worlds
that I know exist and can feel
through the thoughts winging
sometimes painfully against my ears.

Listen to me they say, and hear, hear.

(poem written in August, 1982)

 

 

photo by John Holmes

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Rolling Thunder . . .

 

Last week I awakened with a memory of a place and trying to make sense of it.  I realized I was given a piece of action to remember.  I remember reaching for a  framed photograph of  silhouettes of the children when they were little.  It was lying on the floor and as I tried reaching for it,  it kept moving.  The whole room was tipping around and the photo was nowhere still.  I realized as I tried many times to pick it up that I was in rolling thunder and the implicate and explicate of quantum theory came to mind. 

According to Michael Talbot’s Holographic Universe, the physicist David Bohm says this deeper level of reality is the implicate or enfolded order and the explicate,  the outer or unfolded order.  I remember it as the central part of the dream and the outer fringes.  This is what every aspect of life  means to me when explaining the rolling thunder of the universe.

Our Earth is the classroom of stability, the learning place that makes it easier to accept life and its principles, to adapt to  and is wonderful as the learning classroom it is.  The stability can be counted upon and makes it easy to acclimate to life and makes excellent sense to want it as a someplace to return to.  Which is why it has a growing populace who learn the rules and apply them from lifetime to lifetime.  And the sophisticated soon learn the place to excel is the Earth planet and the waiting list is unending. 

I wrote Rolling Thunder last year and thought it might help with the explanation of the nighttime excursion. Since I see all of life connected,  it was a natural selection to the dream sequence of last week.  I hope you read it with an ahhh sooo maybe ??!!

Rolling Thunder. . .

from what was a formless start
were pieces sent scattering
into a nothingness. . .

Our Consciousness spoke
one to the other and the thoughts
formed a place ready to hold our dreams.
We then broke off pieces of who we are and
went in search of meaning. . .

For sport, for something to do to fill ourselves,
for then we came to that place where thought
demanded a something to hold.
It was called Manifest.

This thought was like rolling thunder
with a threat of storm.  It was filled with power.
That power engulfed the whole of us
and we emerged as Man.

We grew and contributed to this great turbulence
and life took on a beauty which ennobled us
as creatures of this space now forming worlds at once.

In the center we knew our sense of power,
like thunder rolling and even now continues
its unrolling the events from our lives and dreams
and as it all enfolds it becomes part
of an Other’s dream.

The dreams unfold and pieces spark Other’s dreams
into an unrolling of the Great God’s Becoming.

It is with this understanding that the why and how has
neither a beginning nor an ending but is everlasting.

We always were soul stuffs and
were known by one name.
And when our thoughts grew with power we came into
Being and are known by one name again.
It is Creation we are involved with.

And we light up with surprise.

 

photo by
Joe Hallissey Sr.

 

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For Sitting On The Porch. . .

 

For almost half of my life,  we lived in the one home during our marriage.  And maintenance was my responsibility except for big construction work which was hired out.  Every spring, staining the porch, (it is now called deck)  was mine.   And the first call of balmy weather had me with roller and brushes beginning.  It was an all day affair to get it evenly covered.  So the rest of the ritual was planting the hanging pots and barrels with the annuals. I stained the barrels and everything that was wood with Oxford Brown.  I loved the color.   The placing of the summer furniture completed the work.   It was a secluded refuge.

Early morning and dusk into evening were the best times for sitting.  Early morning for the greeting of the birds ready to acknowledge, by a brief halt in their singing,  my good morning.  But evening when I sat in the oncoming dark with my mind’s work in progress,  I was haunted by memories which kept me company.  Never feeling alone but accompanied by centuries of companions who stood and looked with wonder with similar eyes fastened on the sky.  Seeing perhaps what my eyes did now.

 

For Sitting On The Porch. . .

It is a night
for sitting on the porch.
The night is soft
and there is a breeze about.
Soft.  A love night. . . .
How could it be better?

Only to share with an Other
whose eyes see as mine do;
the shapes of the trees
against the darkening sky.
The maples are round
like balloons;
the irregular Tamarack
whose wispy needles
look like bare branches.

The feel of the night
like a caress,
a loving touch,
a whisper.

I was the night and all of my Self in it.

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A Cosmic Experience. . .

From a past journal entry. . . emotions become a burden needing to be understood before they are shrugged.  Once understood they become integrated and no longer need to be carried.

To understand the fullness of humanity is the first step toward the cosmic experience.  When the feelings become more than the human body can carry,  the heavens step in and with one fell swoop,  open the understanding toward greater truths.

And those truths need to be examined and placed in context of the person who is exposed.

A Cosmic Prayer for Mankind

We would wish for much.
We would wish
for the sublime love
that was preached
from every mountaintop.

We would wish
for a mother’s love
to be there for the infant
and the father’s hand
to caress the brow of every child.

We would wish for peace
within the human psyche
and learning to be brought
to the dinner table
and the breakfast table every time.
And love to be served
as the main course.

It is much that
we wish for;
much that we yearn for.
But peace is designed
for the human in mind
from birth to the grave.

Bring peace.

 

photo by
Joe Hallissey Sr.

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With Your Name. . .

With Your Name. . .

From a past journal entry . . I seem to be aware of a depth this morning of a something that shoulders my weight and carries me.  That the words I speak have little meaning.  They are simply words.  And yet,  what I would wish is to reach down into an other’s pockets and find the stuff that is collecting there that is never brought to light. 

That there is a collection of gems that are never used.  And should I be able to do this, would the owner recognize these gems as theirs?

I don’t know.  I can already hear them, as with the children in camp  when presented with a shoe bearing their name,  it is not mine.  It has your name on it.  No, it isn’t mine.

 

 

With Your Name. . .

I spread the gems
on the velvet cloth
and see them sparkle. . .

Not mine, you say,
not mine. . .
but they came from
your pocket, I say. . .
I didn’t have to dig deep.

There is perseverance
with all of its facets,
in the smile of your daughter
whose cost took years
of work to satisfy dental bills.

And the nights of standing
in the icy breath of the north wind
at nearing the midnight hour
to satisfy the young hockey skater
whose dreams only
another parent or brother could understand. . .

And hours on end
to put food on the table into ones
on the run who would again
appear magically for refill
just as the last plate is cleaned. . . .

Not counting the diamonds
your work demanded
as you swallowed your fear to appear
at the breakfast table with confidence
to hopefully infect everyone’s day.

Spilling profusely,  I count
the gems before me and
know they are yours because
I reached down into your pockets
and find not lint nor fuzz
but a million diamonds sparkling
with facets shimmering,

with your name.

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When The House Sleeps. . .

 

Mornings have always been special.  The sounds blended on the street when Princess and I walked; the lights in the homes spoke of early risers,  the occasional car with lights on.  The dog down the street spoke his urgency to get matters started.  There still is a benevolence to the morning which I would awaken everyone to feel.  It is a palpable part of the day.    Times are different now and the body no longer equal without the exuberance which greeted the morning.   Still though it finds me alive and in dialogue with the divine within.  We put the blessing on the day.

 

When The House Sleeps. . .

As the hour
creeps toward dawn
and you put on the kitchen light
for a cup of tea,  it is good
to know that others
walk the morning.

We walk in unison
those of us whom sleep avoids,
when the dream finishes and
the heavens no longer
are a soft bed.

We hug our robes
to take  the chill off bones
shivering in the hours
the house sleeps even
if we cannot.

The tea warms
both the hands and the heart,
while the dawn approaches
with a promise.

It is enough for us to know
we are legion and
take comfort that across
our half of the world
that cannot sleep,

we keep our cosmic half awake. . . .

 

Photo by Jon Katz

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It Takes A Yesterday. . .

 

Scribed March 25, 1989. . .(Keep in mind the quantum theory that all time is simultaneous.  If it is difficult to accept I had to learn it to survive and  have consciously lived with it for well over a half century.)

One must of needs supply a history to give meaning to the day.  For when there is no history, there is also no Now, and certainly no future.  It is only with a history does the uniqueness begin to show and the ability to clarify that uniqueness and to be a positive influence must be because peace has already been made with that history.  (the teacher)

 

 

No Yesterday. . .

We don’t even have
a yesterday
when we forget the past.

And no use looking
for a tomorrow
because today
does not happen.
It takes a yesterday
to make a now today.

We can costume
our yesterday
and dress it up
to be fashionable.
And then possibly
we can walk together. . .

But I think
the proper thing to do,
if not courageous,
would be to stare
down yesterday
and suck the fear out of it.

Then perhaps we’ll have a today
as bed for tomorrow.
That assures a future only

if you are okay with that?

 

 

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Where We Cook The Oatmeal. . .

In the many studies on love and goodness, what appears to be evident is that when one is aware of good and when one comes to the time to do good,  the choices are few to do other than good.  When you become better and better,  your options cease. 

Heaven goes one better.  When approaching sainthood,  the options are not there anymore.  And even if sainthood is not on our conscious agenda,  I clue you that it is somewhere in us.  These they refer as those who have made the light a beacon force in their lives.  And who in their secret thoughts would deny this,  that they would be less than a beacon of light?

When the mind is one with the god mind,  only for that which gives life  (and who would deny otherwise,  no matter the personal consequences?)  humanity’s progression is the only path to take.

Here Is Where We Live. . .

There was a time
when thoughts and desires
were simple and
fleshed out a life.
When rain on the windows
promised a day with a good book.

Commitments came with age
and options few.
A book became a luxury
with sleep non existent and
a nap became the respite.

Fewer options were the result
of choices,  and commitments
took precedent because
other lives were at stake.

Big lessons to teach and
necessary ones,  if the evolution
of humanity was to continue.
A trip to the moon and a jaunt to Mars
will be the children’s dream
but here on Earth is where
we cook the oatmeal

to feed the children’s dreams.

 

Painting by
Claudia Hallissey

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Crowded With Saints. . . invisible

 

When I try to explain what track my thinking has taken in my life,  even as a child or a teenager when a peer said that I talk as if I am reading out of a book,  I am at a loss.  In the following excerpt from The Last Bird Sings,  Marshall,  the student is explaining to his mentor,  Felix,  a feeling he needs explanation for.  He is at the point in the story where having found the brothers  and Felix he feels finally at home, wondering why he feels as he does.   I have edited the segment.

Marshall thought for a moment.  His feelings needed some sorting.  He looked at Felix with intensity.

‘I cannot see it, but can feel it.  I cannot put a name to it but it is real. When I talk to the brothers,  each and together, I get the feeling that I am not just talking to them.  By themselves or altogether.  I get the feeling that there are great ones standing about listening.  I have the feeling that we are in the midst of saints standing.  Even now,  I have the sense that we are not alone.’

‘You are right, Marshall.  We are not alone.  And it is good that you sense this.

For too many people talk as if what they profess to believe has substance and presence and yet act as if it does not.  We would have you act in the knowledge that even the invisible has substance and intelligence.  And to act accordingly.  It would  help man to act to his best capacities and to elevate himself.  He would clean himself of the corrosion that hampers growth, his and all men.

He would open  himself to what is highest and best and be its reflection.  He would be able to judge behavior according to what is highest and best and want nothing less for himself or his brother.  But he must first know who and what he is.  And only in the silence,  Marshall, will man be taught.  He must go into the closet of who he is and listen.

You are right to sense the presence of others.  They are about and we are never alone.  We have not been abandoned.  We have chosen seclusion to accelerate our learning.’

Marshall listened, and tilted his head to catch all of Felix’s words.  Felix knew it took courage for Marshall to choose the route taken and his antennae were pointed to the heavens.

Marshall stood and then spoke.

‘It has all been written, hasn’t it? It was all put down somewhere, sometime.  That is what the brothers read and listen to, isn’t it?’

Felix shook his head yes.  He waited in silence..  There was something going on in this boy and would come forward.

‘There is some thinking I must do,’ Marshall said.  ‘There are questions I must put into words.  For some I know the answers and others I must feel out my answers.’  He turned and was gone.  Felix seated himself and closed his eyes and prayed the prayer of the select few who knew the power of words.

‘To the best and highest within me,  help me to choose the best and highest.  Amen and amen.’

I was fortunate to have a handful of friends in my life who loved me.    One in particular came to my home because she said she loved the feeling she had of being in a crowd of invisible saints. We were 5 in number of regular people  but she saw a roomful of saints.  We do entertain angels unaware, she one of them.    There are copies still available of Last Bird for $20.00 shipping included.

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