July 20, ’16 journal entry 

I was reading in my suffering servant essay that what we do here is felt throughout the Universes.   That we are being watched closely.  Not only our unborn but other worlds also.  Jesus was an evolutionist.  He knew that what one does eventually all will do.  Both good and evil.  Look at what is going on in the world today.   

I talk of the essence of god.  Because in quantum language Becoming is the key word.  We are all in stages of becoming other than what is, are, am.  I stutter my way with words and thoughts and do not wish to dismantle but to nudge the thinking .  We need help for our world.  And for worlds watching what happens here so that we do not contaminate the rest of the planetary systems. 

Remind us that pleasures are not the sole purpose of our agenda.  But learning is.   Of ourselves, our earth, and universal life and our innate knowledge of responsibility.  We would be reminded of what we know and taught what we do not.  Various stages of universal life watches like a visual for the vagaries of unruly children in various stages of disrepair.  We need to be healed so we can stand upright.  We know to our embarrassment what upright means.  Not so much different as correct for our time,

The snowflakes were just barely visible when the younger looked hopeful and asked can we make a snowman?  Well, I said that there really had to be a lot of snow on the ground before we could roll it into a ball and make a snowman.    We could stay up later he said and wait for the snow to fall.

But I said to him there is school tomorrow and to stay up late was not a good idea.   Then I asked him how important was it that we make a snowman?   And he looked at me in astonishment and said but how could we have Christmas without snow?   I said but what about the children who lived in places that were hot all the time and what did he think they did?

He was silent for some time and then said quietly, they make believe, don’t they?  Tell me I said, what do they make believe?  Like I do he said when I am sad or I wisht for something that doesn’t happen.   I make believe in my head that what I wisht is real and then play like it was real and pretty soon, I am happy.

Do you do that often I asked and he said lots of times.   Especially when I am hurting inside or wisht with all my might for something and even I knowed that all my might not make it real.  But then, then the hurt inside goes away when I play like it did happen and I not sad anymore.

Well, I said, this I can promise you.   When the snow piles up to just two inches and I showed him how high two inches was, we will make as big a snowman as we can.   We will roll and roll until the ball gets bigger and bigger even if it takes the whole yard!   Like higher than me, he asked.

 And I said higher than you.

And then I hugged him and thanked him for telling me how he made himself happy when he hurt inside.  How did you learn to do that I asked?

And he said, I watch-ed you.  Always I watch-ed you.