Time To Listen. . . .

Time To Listen

It is not as easy as it seems.   Try to think, to place in mind a picture of a Being other than human.   We have our science fiction writers who give us caricatures of what they suppose we would accept.  The images in fact may be actual.   Consider that.

I had awakened from a nap that had a familiar feel to it one very cold day in March when we lived in the North.   I had a messed up knee and needed to lay the body down for awhile.  I knew the place of the dream though I could not name it if pressed.   So it was not in this particular world or enclosure where I am.  When I awakened I kept feeling my hands as if they were foreign to me.

Like my hands are miraculous.   I have been feeling them within each palm and my fingers have a sensation to them that was amazing.   My fingers lace with one another and am surprised at what they do.   And are they not a wondrous piece of work?  With smooth and supple fingers that I have never appreciated before. I have never felt so at home in this body as I have since I awakened from that nap.

How long it has taken me to come to this minute where my hands seem like an intricate blueprint of some great mind.   It has taken me a lifetime to note this.  As I sit here and give houseroom to Beings other than human because we talk of other worlds,  envision what you are able of how life in other worlds different than ours might be fashioned.   What would life be like in a place where none of our essentials exist  and bodies are like nothing we view in the mirror.  Yet soulful with intelligence struggling for expression where words have not been born.   A species of life with no name yet.  Was that our beginning?

There is unfinished work everywhere.   If asked, would we be willing with our tools, whatever we have mastered to take only in mind upon transiting this Earth,  to be one for the vineyards?   Or would we rush for the exit that would take us right back to where the toys are plenty?   And what if we find ourselves in a not so lush Eden as the previous trip?   We must stretch our thinking for the rules are changing. We must in times of quiet give thought to where the Indwelling God will take us.

It is time to listen.

Because I Know. . .

I see worlds in motion
taking a portion of each one’s talent
for their own survival.

This is what I do with my hands,
this motion of knitting yarns
to form a piece of world
to fit the mind of an elusive soul.

See here, I, content in what I do,
I free a soul to do the Great God’s bidding
in keeping only one world in motion.

See again. . . I give of my Self in time,
to free an Other to build what may be
the perfect Universe or many.

So content, this that is mine to see,
a great plan, a strategy, unheard of.
It may not be for centuries that
my knitting fingers will alert the senses
of a soul to keep in motion,
a Life, a Being, an Idea.

Sit here with me. . . and show
my hands what to do and they will do. . .
The task, so simple will gather
other talents and make for itself
the grand design, futures down the line.

A bidding the nature of what
has never been seen before.
I know it and because I know. . . .

you will know it also.

 

art by Claudia Hallissey

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Beyond Morsels. . .

Beyond Morsels. . . .

When one needs a fire to rest by, one often  has to build it first.  But no fire made by other hands warms as compared with effort gone into the building and fanning of one’s own flame.

*****

You cannot list the world’s disorders without revealing yours in duplicate.  You identify them because you relate to them by knowledge of experience.  You cannot blame others for what they are unable to relate to,  seeing nothing of themselves in the ills surrounding.  And not being able to identify them,  they cannot do something about what they cannot see.   How to open eyes and by what process?

*****

He spoke a good song but he did not sing it.

*****

Kindness is never out of date.  Nor is it old fashioned.

*****

The right to truth is mine to uncover.  The right to conceal belongs to the Other.

*****

When illusion hides the reality, the bears become frightened.  And they stand and attack what could be their greatest gift.

*****

Sometimes it seems that nowhere is the rational voice or the clean motive.  And there are none. There are only people who justify themselves and give forth with their justifications.  And the justifications are needed.  They could not continue otherwise.  Are we not one of them?

*****

To think is to act.  To the Others it appears as doing nothing.  But it is a supreme undertaking one approaches.

*****

Conscience is installed to monitor one’s life for one’s survival.  Conscience is memory of acts done to one with a memory of pain.

*****

We are our belief system.  As we stand, we teach.

*****

There are worlds being spun out of glossy webs that bespeak of spun sugars.

*****

You cannot fool the nature of souls and souls have a way of propounding the innocent and the complex.  In the midst of all that is done,  the soul will fathom the doer and know beyond doubt what the motive and process has been.

 

art by Claudia Hallissey

 

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The Laughter. . .

In a lifetime of many years,  certain things stand out as a moment imprinted on a mind to last forever.  One is the good fortune of living as a neighbor to a family of daughters.  Their laughter in the course of days that presented worrisome events,  was the hallmark for life,  that somehow my own handicaps would be overcome.  Open windows threw the girlish giggles across the lawns and into my heart.  They meant that life could be lived even in the midst of heartbreak and work to cow a giant.

I am grateful to have heard that laughter.  Grateful to the parents under enormous events that all things can be borne and laughter when allowed its moment,  can lift the hearts of all within hearing it.  A boisterous laugh,  a giggle,  a laugh so hard it makes one sneeze,  are a measure of the soul’s ability to harness the serious life.  It imprints the mind and assures us that all things pass but the laughter is memorable.

The Laughter. . .

In the dim light
of the silent candle,
while seated at the kitchen table,
I heard laughter.
It rose from the belly of one
seated at another table
and hit the ceiling with a loud guffaw.
The ceiling fan threw the laughter
out the windows to the winds,
carrying it afar.
My heart welcomed the sounds
for safekeeping.

The girlish giggles in answer
roamed the table
and shushed the corners
of the room and I wondered;
the girls, where did they go?

Now I sit and pound my keys
to a fine fettle
and ponder the turn of wheels
that held the world
at its pivot.

And wondering what happened
to the laughter
and why did it die

when we were so hungry for it to last?

 

photo by John Holmes

 

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When The House Sleeps. . .

 

Mornings have always been special.  The sounds blended on the street when Princess and I walked; the lights in the homes spoke of early risers,  the occasional car with lights on.  The dog down the street spoke his urgency to get matters started.  There still is a benevolence to the morning which I would awaken everyone to feel.  It is a palpable part of the day.    Times are different now and the body no longer equal without the exuberance which greeted the morning.   Still though it finds me alive and in dialogue with the divine within.  We put the blessing on the day.

 

When The House Sleeps. . .

As the hour
creeps toward dawn
and you put on the kitchen light
for a cup of tea,  it is good
to know that others
walk the morning.

We walk in unison
those of us whom sleep avoids,
when the dream finishes and
the heavens no longer
are a soft bed.

We hug our robes
to take  the chill off bones
shivering in the hours
the house sleeps even
if we cannot.

The tea warms
both the hands and the heart,
while the dawn approaches
with a promise.

It is enough for us to know
we are legion and
take comfort that across
our half of the world
that cannot sleep,

we keep our cosmic half awake. . . .

 

Photo by Jon Katz

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It Takes A Yesterday. . .

 

Scribed March 25, 1989. . .(Keep in mind the quantum theory that all time is simultaneous.  If it is difficult to accept I had to learn it to survive and  have consciously lived with it for well over a half century.)

One must of needs supply a history to give meaning to the day.  For when there is no history, there is also no Now, and certainly no future.  It is only with a history does the uniqueness begin to show and the ability to clarify that uniqueness and to be a positive influence must be because peace has already been made with that history.  (the teacher)

 

 

No Yesterday. . .

We don’t even have
a yesterday
when we forget the past.

And no use looking
for a tomorrow
because today
does not happen.
It takes a yesterday
to make a now today.

We can costume
our yesterday
and dress it up
to be fashionable.
And then possibly
we can walk together. . .

But I think
the proper thing to do,
if not courageous,
would be to stare
down yesterday
and suck the fear out of it.

Then perhaps we’ll have a today
as bed for tomorrow.
That assures a future only

if you are okay with that?

 

 

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A Matter Of Heart. . .

 

(It was after a family wedding that I was getting thank yous off to everyone.  I kept letters to those I wrote so I would not forget anyone.  In rereading journals I came across this one to my mother,  Jenny,  that I would like to share.  It spoke my heart and on this Mother’s Day it speaks to all mothers who in fact parent whether they gave birth or not.  Parenting is a matter of heart.  I have edited due to space.)

 

Dear Mother,  My thank you is felt from my heart.  It is my heart that speaks and my arms that reach to you and say good job, well done.  We come full circle at some point and the important thing is that we stayed the course to finish it up.  Our thanks along the way include all who helped become who we are.  And I love who I am right now.  I love me because I love from where I came.  I came from you.

I have often maligned from what it is I came from because I have known it seems nothing but hard work.  My hard work has produced three fine sons and with courage took the hand of one and walked him out of this earth when my instinct was to wrap him in my arms and keep him here.  I helped shore up his two brothers whose worlds were falling apart from hurt.

I have created a home where people love to come and do not want to leave.  I have been testy and submissive, argumentative  and assertive and unlovable.  But kept on loving.  I can see what I am because I see from where I come.  From you.  Of you,  of my brothers and their wives, all sisters.  All of you open your arms to me and I find I can walk right into your hearts.  No doors are closed, no secrets are held and we speak.

You are a testament in courage.  You are the good news in generosity and sharing and love.  I don’t know who could have done what you have so well.  You have created memories for so many that the heavens will declare you lord of memories.  You have been safekeeping them for all of us.  You are a lady worth the knowing and a mother worth the praise.

We pushed against you and made it hard for you.  But we had to strengthen ourselves.  Life demanded much from you and we knew it would be hard for us.  You did not abandon and because you did not, we stayed the course.  We too crumble and cry and because you did what was necessary,  we do too.

It is of good stock I come.  It is of earth and skies that are deep, horizons that stretch farther than eyes can see.  People who walk among each other and heal one another like balm on a wound.  It is love that bends down to touch the head of a child when the back finds it painful to bend.  It is the arthritic hand that touches the cheek of the fragile.  It is love in a gruff voice that shouts and sisters who wrap their arms around each and say ‘I know.’  It is family and it is my heritage and you gave it to me though orphan you were.

You imbedded lessons in my heart and taught us all well.  I thank you.  No one could have lived it better than you did with what was yours.  I went home this weekend and found the likes of me everywhere.  It is a good feeling.  I am privileged.  I have family.  And looking at you I am proud.  I am you.  Thank you for having me.  I love you.    Your daughter,

 

 

artwork by
Claudia Hallissey

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A Place Of Rest. . . .

There can be less stress and stronger heartbeats if the persons involved could call upon what it is they know to help relieve situations,  and if not situations,  then relieve themselves .

In every place,  in every nook and cranny that houses a soul,  there is a place to go.  If not physically,  then within.  To be able to turn to it, whether there is a window or a corner holding an item of interest or rest, or within where there is a place that has a familiarity surrounding,  there is a respite.

For however brief the instant,  it is always a place of rest.  And in this place there may be tears of relief,  of sorrow, of joy and a minute of gathering one’s resources to continue on where one is,  but with a visible difference.

And the difference will be an attitude or direction, or a concrete, so it would seem, act.  It is important to have this place.  It is a holy place within, inviolate.   All people have it, but do not think of it this way.  In a crowded situation it may be a bed no one is sharing at the moment; a place to recoup one’s losses.

The window overlooking a noisy street, or a patch of snow or green,  with perhaps a tree,  or even a piece of crockery,  or a basket on a shelf,  just a thing of rest to pull one together time  and time again.  It is necessary regain footing,  to focus inwardly,  to call all component parts of self together,  for a homecoming.  It is as necessary as the next breath we breathe.

And going back we learn to draw on what sustains,  what satiates the deep thirst and not what crushed our spirit.    And doing so we are equal to another run, another try at what gives life and does not take life.  We fulfill the reason for being,  our wish to make a difference.

Soft Wisdom. . .

Heretofore wisdom
had come slashing
across the mind and
in its wake, devastation.

Ravaged emotions
left one naked,
awash in body tears,
stripped clean and vulnerable.

Like a caress, soft wisdom
finally arrives
compassionate as a lover

to find the moment quiet.

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Gift of Thought. . .

Unless you can share your heart,  you cannot enter into a liaison with anyone and raise a family.

*****

Take love and use it and it will heal the rift which threatens to become a chasm man will never be able to cross by himself.

*****

To ask in thought for help presumes the presence of an Other.  It is a love affair of the greatest kind.

*****

Heaven aims to educate the heart which is ripe and open.

*****

You cannot force feed a menu when the seated are not hungry.

*****

The continuity of life is the only view worth harboring.  How else to explain the eternity it takes for a mushroom or daffodil to reach full potential?  One life does it for a human?

*****

Trash sells   but so does garbage when all that is required of the product is to chuck it into the nearest field as fertilizer.

*****

In our solitude we don’t have an audience of peoples; we have an audience of souls.

*****

You cannot fix much, can you, when no one puts a name to what is broken?

*****

One thing I have learned.  If it is not done here, where I am and see it to do, it is not done elsewhere.  I must do it now or there will not be this particular chance nor these favorable circumstances ever again.

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Time For New Thoughts. . .

July 30, 2014 journal entry scribed . . . . (we do not want your readers to think that the hero’s journey can only be undertaken when one has free time.  We want them to see that it can be undertaken when one is in the midst of chaos and that it does give some kind of civility as well as calm to what is going on in the midst of life.  It was not as your friend did taking to the woods for the good of nature as well as inner life.  You had an inner life as well as public life and were the parent on premises to a trio of sons, good as they were.  The ten year illness and horror of what awaited with your son, the office every day for 10 years and the last 22 years of a mother in law’s life ((the arrival of my inlaw who lived to be 97,  the birth of a preemie grandson at 1 lb 13 oz. and the transition of our David happened in a 3 month period))  and still considered were home and property maintenance.

 Most of the males who had a cosmic experience through the centuries had groupies or what today would be called gophers (go-fors).  They were mostly of a religious bent or philosophers.  A woman occasionally was mentioned though anonymously.   If Jesus’ time were now, the disciples would be called groupies  .)

 When my world crashed long before all the above happened, the word mystic was only a cloudy, wispy,  ancient term.  But when different doctors used the word,  I took note.  It is a person who never completely left the world they came from.  One foot is always in another world or worlds as they step over boundaries not seen.  Today’s quantum theories are no mystery.  Mystics live them.   In mental dialogue the exchange given is day long thought.  It often  is called prayer. It requires mental agility to work the work that living requires and keep one’s balance.

Physically,  it is just plain hard work.  And it has cowed many an able body down. The mystic I am inclined to think is born thus.  It is the child who upsets the family and has parents blaming each other for the difference.  Not mine!  Oh yes, just like!!!!  More often than not,  a head is closed up and evolution stagnates and the world tips easily into another war.  What should be welcomed is shunned and hidden.  And a world waits and cries in the night.

 

Old Comforts. . .

Exhaustion is the state
with the barbed tongue.
I would smite to the death
with what I hurt
and am angered by.

I will use my anger
to force a new attitude of thought
on those who wallow
in their comforts.

Old beliefs are
a security blanket.
But already they become
bare from nervous fingers
pulling the fluff out
in straight lines.
The nap has been neatly picked.
It is time for new thoughts

to cover old butts.

(July 2014)

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Never More Than A Heartbeat Away. . . .

Never More Than A Heartbeat Away . . .

The wind had blown over the huge tomato plant and he was out of patience with his mother with her directions as to how to support it.  Her instructions were explicit and he shouted it’s only a plant!  And she almost in tears shouted back, it’s alive!  And ended up doing it herself.  And the reason was sufficient.  It’s alive.  With due respect and gentleness,  it’s alive.

And that is the difference, as small and as large,  as it is with perspective.  Where to draw the line in outlook because it takes time,  energy and may take your life eventually.  It is no easy task to discern what is important enough to warrant attention to make a difference.  As small as a plant or as large as a human life.  There are only so many hours in the day and everything seems to demand the immediate now.  Many told me  I took the fun out of life because everything to me was important.  And important in itself that it did not need exaggeration.  But each has to discern whether the action should be pulled through one’s heart.  I would caution with this that when the least has no importance, it is sooner than one thinks that all things assume little importance.

I asked a friend who was a nurse,  why do you go to church Kath,  and she said because I hope what Jesus said is true.  I say that life is a continuum,  that it is everlasting and all is god.  And for me it is not a hope but it is knowledge and I know that what meaning there is in life I bring to my corner of it.  The thundering, noble force that rumbles through all is put within the each and here as I create my wonky wall quilt of evergreens and am accountable in my declining years as my conscience demands and  body enables me,  I have also created the world I worked for all the days of my life with the talents given me.   And I will give a hand to pull you over if you have doubt.  Because if there were not worlds as my mentor said,  I would care enough to create one and I would pull you over.

Excerpt from
We Can Go Home. . .

When the cardinal sings
I will acknowledge his song
to show that a life can be lived with
a mind open,  to hear muses sing
their songs of joy or pray their
mourning songs. . .

. . . to show that a heart
can be stripped of itself
like layers of onion skin
and still keep a steady beat.

I’ve taken the long way home and
nearing the gate, please catch me I say
and pull me on through.
I will answer c’est moi, it is I,

to prove we can go home again and again.

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