In February of 2001 I journaled that I had a feeling pass over me that said (not the first time) that this world is but a fragment of illusion. The reality is that there is no reality.
That when we leave we take our world but it stays in our memory bank like a rolling file, where we go back to see what was and how it came about because of who we were.
Last week I sat and watched a micro something swim in the pool and expand itself as it swam. When stopping, it was a speck of something. But when swimming, it was lit with 10,000 bulbs and glittered.
Brighter than the sun on the water but in shade, it still glittered. Nothing else glittered. I watched spellbound.
Son John came to the door and I told him what I was seeing. He did not see it even when I said it was glittering. Walking to the other side of the pool he saw a moth, the white fleck in the water. Amphibian? Creature of land and water? I told him it elongated and glittered. He thought it was the sun.
When he came out later, he got the net and fished the moth out of the water. I said if it is a moth, it is able to swim from the left side of the pool under the hose of the vacuum and had fins to weave in the water. In the shade as well as the sun the water moved on both sides of the creature.
I remember my friend Jan saying when I described the butterfly swooping up the spider’s web and carry it (I repeated that post two weeks ago) she said I only had eyes to see that. I thought again of my Mentor, the Nazarene, who said in Mathew 13:13 that having eyes you will not see and ears you will not hear.
And again as I have repeated in my blog when my world crashed Dr. Cassidy asked me what I saw when I went down Michigan Avenue. I closed my eyes and told him what I saw and when I was through he whistled through his teeth. ‘You understand not everyone sees what you see? You don’t.’ I was too afraid to ask him what others saw.
I never related that conversation to my husband. He grew up next door to Salem, MA and knew what happened to witches.
I want to think the moth was set free to soar. It did light brilliantly so I could see it swim distances and stop if tired? I can now feel sorry for my husband being married to me. I said if the government knew people like me existed, we would be treasured quietly and used.
The science gods have made it terrifying for families to have the likes of me among them. I bless them all.
Lucinda Cathcart, (my niece)