As long as you don’t mind. . . .
My mother and my sister would be saying now, there you go alibi-ing again. Why don’t you just say that you make excuses or that someone is too lazy to try, whatever they are not doing?
Because I don’t want to think they are so shortsighted or so full of themselves they think there is nothing to learn.
Yet I have watched people who cannot put themselves at the feet of someone expert to learn something. They simply cannot. What that does to them I do not know.
Whether their self esteem is shaky or they are arrogant in thinking there is nothing to learn, is beyond me. I am willing to strip the knowledge of everyone; even a newborn I ask from where did you come? I want to know what they think or wonder but when they say they know something, I want it also.
I was brought aghast when I was so excited to learn that a beloved did something I literally begged, show me how to do that! She looked at me with disdain and said but then you would know as much as I do. . .
And I recoiled with hurt. My budding intelligence and fierce desire to learn was stepped on. I was pushed outside the circle. There was no embrace to lean against.
I have been aware when an idea or conclusion I reached has been used without assigning origin. Once it bothered me greatly but even realizing that there is nothing new under the sun, I chafed. Especially when my conclusions were met with derision but now being voiced and hailed as thinking outside the box.
A dear friend reiterated time and again that a lot of work could be done in this world if one does not mind who gets the credit. True? Very. I still make excuses or alibis because I cannot make judgments on what I cannot know. A red light or green light at the corner of Main street is easy to judge. But to judge a perilous shaky self esteem could be tragic.
A lot is Given by Grace to each of us. The source we cannot know for certain. Yet we know when it is a Given. It is by Grace, a benevolence bestowed I acknowledge often. And my good friend is remembered often when I think. . .
yes, a lot of good can be done in this world if we don’t mind who gets the credit. Thank you Jan, for that gem.
Artwork by Claudia Hallissey