Archive | Poetry

The Whole World Is Looking For A Mother

In the `90’s,  when my world was struggling to find its place after the death of our middle son a few years earlier, the bigger world outside of me seemed only to reflect what I was working on.   And in the midst of my struggles, I wrote The Whole World Is Looking For A Mother.  I am certain there are others who feel like I did that day when I wrote this poem.  Tell me what you think.

Pray to me, Almighty God,
and send a mother to mother
this barren earth,
these orphaned children striving to stand
with no one to lean on.
Pray to me.

For I tire.  I tire.
Senseless equations keep pestering me,
seeking sums I cannot decipher,
for too many zeroes I neither
can articulate nor posture.
Debits and assets, we have the former
in trillions but the assets hide
from Thee and Me.   I do not see them.
Do Ye?

Except hidden in the child’s eyes,
in the smile, in the groping of hands,
trying to find each other.
Except in the autumn I now sit in,
rain saturated, leaves clinging to roads
and sidewalks as slippery as comfrey.
Except in the foaming earth
giving off an elixir to intoxicate me
into still thinking I can make a difference.

Pray to me,  Great God
that I may be ignited
with a fire yet to burn brightly,
that I may see my commitments
straight through to their resurrection
and mine.
That I may yet see a glorious dawning
of a day where the acts of my days
will prove again the reflected glory
of God in Earth.
I pray, still, send a mother,
fresh from the Cosmic Bosom to lean on,

not tired.

5

Midnight Blue

My version of a card in fabric.

My version of a card in fabric.

 

 

When we first received this card I knew I wanted to do my fabric version of it.   At the moment it is my favorite.   It will be on display for the February 10th exhibit at the Oak Park Arms.  There will also be a reception.   I hope those in the area will allow time on Sunday to join us.   I look forward to meeting you.   The quote on the quilt is mine. ‘My heart races to the brink now;  to the edge of the winter snows. ‘ Do come.  You are cordially invited.

4

Conundrums

A miserable constitution should send one to class rather than to the doctor.

The true child of the universe walks in confidence.  It is the child held captive in the adult body who flounders helplessly.

There is no profit in knowing anything if it is not also a given.

Urchin is the adult in process.

If man does not do it right, how many more times will the earth be hospitable?

Any violation of a personal right, even the right to be unhappy or ill, carries a great penalty.

Relationships become more honed toward that which is left behind.

Pity has no place in a life so rich.

Pity is no friend.   He is the enemy who takes life.

It is quite a horrendous matter when we confront our own inadequacies and see our children have outscoped us in growth and awareness.

When stress becomes unbearable, we are then pressed to broaden our understanding and learn.

When man truly wants to learn he will.   Spirit discerns the well intentioned and the readiness of the student.

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Refuge In Dreams

 

In the beginning
when I was young
and when I was very cold,
I took my mammoth skin
and drew it closer about me
and found refuge in dreams.

Like a tourniquet
it stopped the flow of life
out of me.

Now I am old
and I huddle
still deeper in my woolen wrap.
Closing my eyes,
I discover refuge again in my dreams.
And find it stops

the flow of life out of me.  Again.

2

A God Work

When we write our own personal ambitions out of the picture, we kill
all illusions.   I feel kindly toward illusions and see them for what they
are.   They are the finery with which we dress all the dailyness, all the
scullery to make it not only bearable but to elevate it also.  That is a
noble endeavor.   It is a god work.

There is much work for both men and women that I call scullery.  It
is the scut work that keeps civilizations from crawling on their
bellies.   I often thought that heaven was on the side of public utilities
for just that reason.   It was the only way to contain the diseases from
killing off humankind.

A lifetime of working with illusion can produce great results.   They
can add impressively to the record of man.   What we do is think a
problem through many times to come to some conclusions, strictly
by effort.   When that effort is noticeable, other elements contribute
and can be either visible or invisible.   When we think we can make a
difference and see positive results, it can be and often is illusion that
drives us.   When we see the results in the here and now it is a
reinforcing factor.   We must take into consideration that even when
our efforts are not visible,  we cannot discount them.   What are not
visible of course are the parallel worlds that the physicists as well as
mystics speak of.   When we think of thoughts as things, as having a
weight and a substance to them, they can be of use in many worlds.
It is not a far stretch from ‘my father’s house has many rooms.’   In
the Dead Sea Scrolls it was found in the gospel of Thomas where the
disciples questioned Jesus as to where they would go when they died,
convinced there was a place.   And he replied that they never
questioned where they had come from so why worry where they will
be going.   Since this has been an independent study for many years
with me,  I find the knowledge of many worlds comfortable.   It makes one clean up one’s thoughts a bit and maybe some might think it adds to my illusions.   But when we give weight to illusions and life to them, we also add to the richness of physical life.   No one knows for certain where our thoughts settle.   I hope that what I think will make my light brighter and our universe(s) all inclusive.

What I am certain of is a dim bulb soon goes out.

1

The Homecoming

My warm breath makes a circle of clear space
on the frosted pane.  I gaze at empty horizons
willing your outline to appear
to give this day extra measure.

You move into view with water pails swinging,
from shoulders whose strength I know by heart,
with strides cleanly cutting
the knee high snow, effortlessly.

I move within the circle and my warm world,
eagerly awaiting your shout and stamp of feet
on the threshold, feeling already
your cold face along the line of my throat.
The woolen nap of your winter shirt
is rougher even than my hands.

It’s been too long you say since you left.
And I laugh.  Hardly time enough to clean the barn
for barely were you gone an hour.
And here already.  My day has taken shape.

                                   *****

The stamp of feet, the key turns
and the door clicks open.
My hands press the smooth fabric of your
well tailored coat and do not catch.
I take the leather briefcase from your hands
and lift my head for the homecoming.
It’s been so long that you are gone, I say, and you laugh.
I’ve only been gone a week this time, you say.

I turn again to the window to find it frosted over.
And know that worlds have died
and been reborn in less time.

And today, another one.

2

December Confirms The June Woman

It is June and I stand poised on the landing of the half circular staircase.  I am hearing the strains of the Canon not heard in this, my lifetime.  Shocked still, caught in the shadows of half remembering and yet reluctant to confront the shaded memories,  I wait.

She is visible, the young woman gliding with joy to the music which carried her down the long hall.   She curtsies to the throngs lining the great walls.

I stand, not moving.   Her joy is mine, translating to an emptiness in my heart.  The tears scald my cheeks and the rest solidify in a mass in my throat.   I cannot swallow.   I am in danger of drowning from within and without.

II

It is now December.   I am before an ancient building in a city bearing her years gracefully.  The snow is circling my feet and the wind is freezing my eyes.  I am rooted to this spot.   The air is ringing with the sounds of holiday; lights flicker their ritualistic colors in harmony.   Yet I stand immobile.

On the second floor of the ancient building, caught in the winter  of my memories, I see the long hall stretching before me.  The strain and refrains of the Canon carry the young one still, waltzing yet.  The violins smooth the way for her memories to be built.  The red vests of the rotund violinists complement in contrast their black, slicked hair.  They bend and bow in homage.  Their music locks her destiny forever.

My eyes are again in danger, this time of freezing in their sockets with the salted tears that cannot stop.   The memory does not move,  not to one side nor the other.  My will forces my eyes to play again what can only be seen in my throbbing head.  Courted through centuries with great care to remain hidden,  I unwittingly jarred the box housing those memories.

In retrospect,  I was ready.  It was my time.   I turned away shaken and knowing

                                                           the past is still happening.

0

Times Such As These

I lock up the room
after filing the last remnants
of words laying about unattended.

Fearful that pieces of my heart
may be found scattered among them.
And why not?

Times such as these
leave us with little salve
to heal the open wounds
which once were hearts.

For whom do we weep?
The children whose siblings
will no longer come to the table
to convey with no doubt
the events that stole their innocence?

Or the parents
whose hearts were transplanted
when word came
that these unspent stars
were already breathing the rarefied air
as heaven’s most blessed?

Look at us here.
Pleading that our children
will be safe as they try to understand
what we in our dotage
have not learned;
to resort to arms

means death in any country.

4

time’s past

crystal chimes
strike porcelain ears,
seizing time
from memories, past.

the music heard
from times’ near past,
tangles in the wind
of muted sound;

and we live again.

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Everlasting Memories

Beginning with this post,  I will be featuring  poetry I have used
over the years in hand crafted Christmas cards.   Many of my
readers might recognize a line or two from years past.   I wish to
add my voice to the season to bring  forth memories to be
refreshed for new readers and also those familiar with my work.

She tenders fingertips to a face
as lightly as a kiss of wind
and nudges memories, clad in illusion,
tentatively.

Star shaped, diamond chips,
melting snow on little faces,
Nature has painted red roses
on milk cheeks
and has buried memories
to be awakened at another time.

Everlasting memories. . .  but. . .
we carry the one face
of the one child

forever.

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