From an Upper Floor

In The Mirror Is The Answer. . . .

THE TEACHER SPEAKS. . . .It is useless to say that we can be non judgmental when we make judgments of necessity all day long.  What we must not judge are the places an Other comes from when we look upon cultural ways. 

When we understand the cultures of other people, we then begin to understand ourselves.  But we know too, just as the decisions concerning our personal behavior are a matter of conscious choice when we reach the age of discernment, then we know too, to hide behind cultural practices is begging the question.

When we decide how it is we are going to approach the questions of life, we then begin to know where it is we are coming from.  If we sidestep ‘just this one time’ we are already setting the basis for future behavior.

Matters of character are personal decisions.  They are not based on anything except as we view ourselves.  And character is the basis for everyone.  And character is formed early, within the safety net of the family.  What is let go ‘just this time’ with no comment, is not to be viewed later with the question ‘how did this happen?’  when confronted with the larger implications. 

This implies that we are going to grow up, that we are going to mature at some point.  What is being said is that the process is never ending, never finished.  For along all junctions we will be pressed with character questions.  We will be expected to make character decisions.  And the final questions will always reside within the individual, ‘what will this say of me?’

 In the process we know that we can fool no one.  Especially the one whom we look at in the bathroom mirror first thing in the day.

 We know, know deep within us that we cannot be a better anything than we can be a person.

Small Bear or Large Cub. . .

We can interchange our adjectives
and the words take on different meanings,
depending on our frame of reference.

We may find that bigotry is the same as
prejudiced preferences and my color
may be other than what you are.

It is quite right for where you are, if that is
all right with you.  But I ask will you clean house
and set straight your attitudes

so you can say gay with no malice?

art by Claudia Hallissey

 I came across something in my metaphysical research years ago that has guided my relationship with animals, mainly dogs.  It was written that when souls wish to taste  Earth life again, but do not want to take on human bodies, they send a fragment of their soul into an animal.

It is a belief of many cultures and societies.

On The Farm I observed my mother’s relationship with the cows.  She thought they were sensitive and much smarter than dogs.  In fact she had a symbiotic relationship with them  and was a marvel  to watch.

Since reading the text on fragments  incarnating, it explained much about human behavior .  Haunting it is when I find our Newfie seeking me out to share my solitude and my wondering in mental wandering,  who are you and why do we love each other so?

He takes my diminishing agility into account and knows when not to nudge nor lean against me.  I slowly get up and down and he respects that.  He is a patient one but alert and swift when something unexpected appears.  I watch him watching what appears empty space and yet unblinking.  Just a dumb dog?  Not so.

Just as when we needed to put Prince down because cancer was virulent and I stood at the window and thought I just can’t, just can’t do it again having had too many heartbreaks.  Yet turning to him found him watching me with the words as if printed above him ‘you’re not going to make me do this alone?’  I found myself saying out loud, of course not.

And followed him out of the house one last time.

We assume they see what we see but their perspective of the world differs.  Just as it does for all species.  We see only what we see.  I cannot see what you see.  Nor you hear what I hear.  Do you wonder why your partner of so many years does not enter in your longing nor understand why you do?

And yet the furry companion looks and sees and is at your side in a flash.

When there are dogs with a vocabulary of hundreds of words,  like a 3 year old toddler,  who know the difference between a red ball and a blue ball,  one does not in good conscience leave them to the elements.  They have become a companion species, looking like dogs or wolves but acting more like pre-schoolers.

They know our emotional states so well is because we share ourselves with them.

They don’t say we are silly and reading things into events nor do we ignore their
needs when the clock tells us it is suppertime and they sit expectantly
waiting for us to get a move on.

We know there is something different from years ago when
these sensitivities were not so well honed.  Technological changes in our lives
have affected all our rituals and habits.  Our history has shown our growth
in technology with pride as well as our decline in manners.   We mourn that loss.

Hopefully we will be open to what will always require heart and conscience
when we live with conscious beings, no matter where or what world.
Like when I told the Rottie to go to the front door and she turned and
went to the front door and I wanted to drop to my knees.

My god, what have we done here because we are responsible?  Do you see?

This weekend the grandparents of Emma E. came to visit and brought with them a book.  This book is a creative endeavor of the artist Claudia who has graciously illustrated so much of my work.  This time the grandfather of this child has charmingly caught both granddaughter and grandmother reading.

When Emma E. comes to their home ten minutes away they go through an entrance ritual.  Touching, looking, identifying, naming all the favorite things Emma E. loves.

Emma has cupboards in every place she visits it seems.  She knows these are hers with safe things to bang and wallop.  Books are favorites and bookcases are treasure troves she frequents and positions herself as her grandparents do with the morning paper.

This book  is one Claudia put together for Emma with her favorite things at the grandparents’ that have meaning and delight.  It is an awesome endeavor and seeing the artwork and portraits of Emma embracing these events at their home has me wanting all children righteously entitled.

In a more perfect world it would be so and I wish it were.  That circumstances endow all involved with  talents honed making the arrival of each child a welcome addition but also a promise.   Not only would the body be fed but also the mind and play would be the obvious joy in learning.

Years ago friends visited and in discussing my latest manuscript that they liked, the visiting husband  said, it took courage to public autopsy oneself while still breathing.  He then said the unforgettable  and that was ‘it was easier to be philosophical on a full stomach.’

It applies to all endeavors and connects all, you see.   In an equitable world as children we would be born and welcomed with a promise to be fed mind, body and spirit.  Our talents would multiply and all worlds would benefit because our abundance of good would spill over.

The large animals like elephants and the wild jungle friends would not be lost in time and bees and butterflies would be profuse.

On a full stomach the mind can stretch to cover esoteric lives we may not touch but hunger for knowledge we would about all life.  It is difficult to feign interest when hunger pains beg for sleep.  The friend’s comment was apt.

If Emma E. needs art for her development, she made a good choice in parents.  And we needed some laughter and joy in our lives.   Hats and slurping pasta are such fun things to do!  And we the appreciative audience.

Ahhh. . .  you see and we know. . . .there is balance when there is patience.  It is just that the mills grind slowly.

A hyacinth for her soul. . .

When I first started blogging,  8 years ago in 3 months, I was given a voice.  I had just had my 80^th birthday and hoped to crowd the ethers with a particular view.  I was told I was ‘many dimensional in kaleidoscopic perspective.’  Come again?

In the vernacular the complaint was ‘ not everybody sees what you see.’  But a grandnephew, in clarity and wisdom, with a many dimensional demeanor says, ‘everybody sees but not everyone is clearly focused.’  Thank you, Benjamin.

This attempt is to answer what I see when I sit in silence.   I endow my world, simply with what I say and see.

I am the girl in the mid east all boys’ school whose father thought she would be a smart lady and I am the monk carrying the cross on my back up the cinder street in the French Revolution.  I am also the girl sitting on her haunches with the clay pot in front of her and reaching for the Pewabic tile to the back of her.

I am also a carpenter with tools of my trade who sands and saws and bleaches the woods to a faretheewell.  I am the farmer who plows the field to feed the bodies of bloated children with grain I literally pull from the parched earth.

These things I know and endow my world and have written about them with dates from carefully kept journals.  From the farm woman looking through the window to see her love with swinging pails coming to her because he has been too long hours away.

I step over boundaries separating worlds stumbling over one another and  with worry that thoughts contaminate and are contagious.

Some are of my choosing and some choose me, penetrating my world of sight, smell and touch.  I have seen other hands over mine on the steering wheel of the vehicle I drove when conditions proved hazardous.

There are starving children sleeping too much and too ill to stay awake.  There are broken windows , broken spirits and broken bodies.  I would like blue skies and green grass and happy children.

There are sharp edged people arguing their argues, slicing hearts yet whose eyes with tears fastened on the horizon do not see the pictures they are painting and pushing into the memory vaults.

We bring to the world who we are and what we see.  All of us do with disclaimers to be sure.  And we say not mine, not mine.  But we say your name is on them.  Not me, not me.  We endow our world with who we are, what we say and do but do not see our input.

So today I photographed a hyacinth.  It has been dormant and because cleared away was debris, it breathed and blossomed.  Today I endow my weary world with a hyacinth for her soul.  Do likewise.