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Be That One Someone. . .


In the midst of catastrophic events such as the ongoing flooding in Texas, we wonder if what we are able to do can truly make a difference.  It seems this topic is being brought up often lately  in our lives and the little we are able to do individually seems small indeed.

Even when it appears to be a lost cause, it is not.  That someone cares enough to do what needs to be done is never a lost cause.  There cannot ever be a lost effort to do good in the universe.   That would be an oxymoron, a contradiction.   The ability to see this is paramount.   Even when no words are spoken there needs to be someone who cares enough to help expedite matters.  If there is not, it is a futile life.   But should there be caring, there is hope and a chance for life again.

Even those of lesser stuffs, those stuffs are only lesser because of the parameters set by others.   Take the parameters away and there are no limits for good.  And that is what good is all about, what gods are all about.   Within the person there are no limits for good.  What is life sustaining and life giving wherever the need is, is good.

When we wander through the mental houses of those we care about or are responsible for and find much that we would like to help with and then decide not to,  the ‘then not’ means we wash our hands of the matter.  To wash one’s hands of the matter is to relegate all to the dung heap.

If the one who can do something about anything finds the matter too sticky, the flies will be attracted and the matter will deteriorate and rot.   The purpose of keeping on, keeping on means that the people are still worth the effort.  As long as a some one cares, there is hope.   Just one to care is needed.

I am adding the following thoughts to your already overburdened mind because we are aging and we also see the lack of personal responsibility in our elected officials too often.   Please include the thoughts for your prayerful consideration because futures of invisible audiences depend heavily on those who are clueless and dispense grave injustices.

Any imperceptible change to do good, no matter how small,  will be felt in your circle and others will change.  And the circle will grow and the genetic characteristics will be changed by due process and evolutionary change will be instituted.

However microscopic.  Seems like small potatoes when the catastrophe such as we face looms so large, doesn’t it?  But it is not.  There will be change on a larger scale and when that change is evident throughout the behavior of humankind,  we then have the evolution to a higher form of being.  What is done here on this planet of Man , this Earth,  there will be the refinement of policies and behavior throughout the universes. 

If we go to those places of worship we say we do, then we give thought to immortality.  Hiding somewhere in our thoughts and behavior is the world we prepare for.  Let it not be a rude awakening.  It takes just one,  just one to include this thinking in our attitudes.  Let our good extend to the invisible life.  We were told that what we do for one we do for all.   Let us be that just one  someone to begin. 


Times Such As These. . .(do we not learn?)


Times Such As These. . .

I lock up the room
and pocket the last remnants
of words laying about

Fearful that pieces
of my heart may be found
scattered among them.
And why not?

Times such as these
leave us with little salve
to heal the open wounds
which once were hearts.

For whom do we weep?
The children whose siblings
will no longer come to the table
to convey with no doubt
the events which took their innocence?

Or the parents whose hearts
were transplanted when word came
that these unspent stars
were already breathing the rarified air
as heaven’s most blessed?

Look at us here.
pleading that our children
will be safe as they try to understand
what we in our dotage
have not learned.
To resort to arms

means death in any country.



Maudie Update. . your way home is well lighted. .



Maudie Update

Last week when I posted  Again Maudie??? and asked if doves or birds blinked intentionally, on Saturday’s 15 July entry I knew.  As I bid good morning to Maudie she blinked several times.  Her eye was pinned on me and a veil dropped,  a light grey, greenish color and covered the eye.  She did it several times and drove me to tears.  She knew I questioned and she answered me.  She was turned the opposite from the way son John took her photo.  She is a dear and a good mother.

Since them I have watched her peck the eggs and the babies hatched.  I have watched her feed the babes and groom them and I have watched the babes grow overnight and inch their mother to the brink of  falling out of their nest.  I have encouraged her to push them out so they could learn their wings will hold them up.  I have stood and sat at the sink and when I turned away of course the biggest babe flew off.  And hours later the little one found his wings fluttered and gave them a try and took off.  The nest is empty.   Every species has memory and we are connected.  Maudie is a wonder and I suppose together we are both a wonder.   My loss is again a physical loss.  But my experience has taught me much.

And if I deny my experience,  I may as well deny my existence.  And I am.  If nothing else,  I am.  Nothing teaches as well as experience.  I am sure someone else said that sometime.

Journal entry
April 5, ‘84

‘the sun still shines,
the snow will come
and so will the night.

But your way home is well lighted.’


Journal entry
January 23,’86

The son asks,  ‘should I drop Philosophy?’   ‘And I say. . . .there is no other class worth the taking.  Except History and Literature.  And Humanities.  And some others like Ethics and the Religions of Man.’


On The Universal Watch. . .


There is a universally ineffable, inherent bedded value in all life that holds us all accountable.  It is this which we must answer to.  Not because of  Others’ intent,  but of our own basic divinity, our own intent.

We may try to dismiss this urgency within us,  but we cannot destroy it.  It will continue to disrupt our sense of ease but will eventually cause such dis-ease that self confrontation will be the ultimate dismissal.  Intuitively we know this.




On The Universal Watch. . .

Glancing into the icy calm
of the darkened sky,
leaving little to the night’s magic,
is a knowledge from minds in action.

Saying little in languages understood,
it moves itself with intelligence,
looking for evidence bespeaking intent.

Always wary, ever beseeching,
reaching conclusions seeking
a desired peace with an enduring future.

Not only one world in motion with
an anxious search, but many
whose futures are determined by the
results of a whirling planet
whose emotions are in turmoil.

A learning place, a starting place,
whose tentative decisions determine
the times to come dependent on
the unbridled, unharnessed emotions
of a childhood still groping.

Worlds looming as non entities,
not proven  by the laboratories
of the science gods,
is life in other forms;
as intelligent, viable, thoughtful,
as intent on living within the realm
of their possibilities as we on Earth . . .

Searching as we do as gods for an enduring Peace.




From The Top Of My Heart. . .


(January 29, 2017 journal entry I want to share.  It is only in rereading that I realize that I connect all manner of things in thought.  It is the reason for my seamless existence.  It all connects.)

Man cannot put in what God has left out.  Joe Biden in the Clarence Thomas hearings said this one early morning.  My sister was visiting and was glued to the TV set and I was knitting.  It was nearing 2 a.m.   What did he say? I asked.  And she repeated man cannot put in what God has left out.  That’s my missing link I said.  That’s it. ( I have researched the maxim but never found the source other than Joe Biden.)

For no matter how hard you work and how much you love,  the person has to want whatever for himself otherwise it will have no meaning.   They will avoid you and your ministration because they know you want something from them but damn if they know what.  If it is outside their frame of reference all your talk in the world will have no meaning.  Because they will have no clue.  No clue.

Why do I have such difficulty with this aspect of humanity?  Because it means that the best teachers cannot do anything if the student does not yearn and learn.  Not once but for all time.

Does it mean that the teacher gives up?  The teacher has to exhibit and make the student want whatever he deems crucial.  It puts the yearning and learning on the student.  Only then will the lesson take.

Who taught me?  Many teachers and they loved me enough to keep on loving and exhibiting the lesson.  Because the love and trust and learning were not evident in this life when I needed them most.  I remembered from other times and wanted these things for myself.  How many lifetimes?  A zillion or maybe one.  I cannot know from the top of my heart.

I know without doubt that love is all that matters.  I know without doubt that virtue is in labor.  I know without doubt I bring value to my life.  And unless we bring meaning to our lives and world there is none.  We will sleep a long sleep and wake up when we tire of sleeping.  And get on the road again.

We are in the creation business and have been since we first jumped ship and went for expression.  At first we did it for sport but over time it became serious business.  How serious we know now when our planet is in dire jeopardy and we chance to lose our classroom.  We had better become stewards.  The unborn demand this of us.  Life demands accountability because the next time may require hip boots as we walk in ash.



Photo by Joe Hallissey Jr.


It Is Good. . .


It is not without recourse that the soul cries in the night.  It is not with abandon that the individual who mourns whatever loss, be it of his innocence,  or that of physical parting, is left.  We know and are known and never is there a thought which rises from the physical brain and immortal mind,  that is not noted.



It Is Good. . .

Times pass and it is called history.
There were those who walked
and talked and held conference
with the unseen but not unspoken. . .

They were from the scattering
where survival meant learning
and not simply breathing.
They pressed the edges of space
and stepped over boundaries
as if they were not boundaries. . .

They come now to claim
their birthright; having given it
away to some bent on power,
promising protection;
some sold to thieves
bent on storing gold. . .
only to find themselves bankrupt.

Now again, righteous in their duality,
the dichotomy healed
with wholeness ensured. . .
man walks to the end
of his world to proclaim
his humanity equals the god within

and it is good.



Photo by
John Holmes




No Rush To Judgement. . .


No Rush To Judgement. . .I am 85 so there is no rush to judgement.  These are conclusions with thoughtful consideration in this third of a series.

Is this how the rest of the world works?  That they have no inner motivations and can find nothing to spur them on?  Some said they couldn’t live with my intensity, but  there really is no reason for life unless you make your own reason.  That is why there are wars and more wars?  Is it better to be physically involved and die young than to look for a reason to live peacefully without the excitement of  not knowing if you will survive?  Better to live with that constancy of motion and agitation than to live with peace?

This is outside my frame of reference.  So when I could find no reason for drawing breath,  this was a taste of what it is for those who bring nothing to the table.  And there is no reason except what we bring with ourselves.  So all this motion,  all this activity is really nothing else except finding a reason for being.  So with the young, the new way is to generate enthusiasm for new places and new playthings.  Until life intervenes and serious business is in order. No wonder retirement brings a malaise, or constant movement with death often the soon result.

It is not the war itself  but the adventure and the action that gives meaning to life.  Even in early times when men went off to war or to sea,   or off to the cities for work with no visible emotion except a quick kiss to the cheek of the children and wives who had the dailyness of the struggle of growing sons and daughters with no role models,  the surprise was always  the imbalance in the gender qualities.

Where were the societies’ notables who foresaw the troubles ahead for the unfolding behaviors in the offing?  Where now in the midst of the daily trials are the university heads of departments of Divinity Schools or Psychiatry or Psychology or Sociology  of lives and lifestyles who do not present the dangers of the very obvious directions society is taking?  Where the heads of churches except contributing their own problems?  Where anywhere are the trusted voices with impeccable characters that could be listened to and heeded? Where are the credentialed persons who have done the headwork or the footwork?  Where are they?

Coming out of the Christmas Season with hunger for peace on earth should put all of us on alert.  On this lush planet of many toys and ways to satiate appetites,  certainly there must be serious souls who care for this Earth and the inhabitants who suffer greatly.

(I scribed the  excerpt from the following lesson. . . You have the picture pretty clearly in mind.  What you have done, in your own way is work through your dilemma  of nothing or no reason to do anything.  If it wasn’t in you  where then  to find it?  Who would give you reason to be if you do not have it within?  What happens in other families?  All you have to do is look at the morning news.  Or in the classrooms or on the street corners.  Anywhere in the world.  That is why we say we care what goes on within today’s 4 walls at home.  It determines what will happen when the children go out the front door in a short time and carry with them what the so called adults have taught them.)

Fine Wine. . .

We have bound
and gagged the bird
who would carry the olive branch
to the heads of state
guarding vehemently their fragile egos.

Guarding so that the horrors
of retaliation would not
devastate their souls
for stealing the young
who had no knowledge and no chance.

Where is the king
who would avow his peace
that others would live symbolically
in love with the dove?

Now. . . here is the chance
and the time where love
cancels the errors and begs
unconditionally for forgiveness.
We’ve take what was most cherished
and crushed to death

what would have been fine wine.



The Dark Side Man Calls His Humanity. . .




(When I sat in my first Philosophy class and the Instructor was explaining the different ways of looking at life,  he went into detail about how some teachers thought every day life was illusion,  not real.  There was snickering of course because how could such details as study and tests be not real?  When coming to grips with quantum theory the hardest thing to grasp is that all time is simultaneous.  I ask my readers to give this idea space in thought.  A ‘maybe’ for now.  It will make it easier to understand from where this mystic that I am comes from.)



(we will lay our swords beneath
the evergreen and paint roses
in the cheeks of the children)

The Dark Side Man Calls His Humanity. . .

The Lesson. . . the Teacher Speaks….Man has forever been maligned because of the evil in him.  That the dark side is evident is no biggie you know.  Even when it came to love.  He could never love enough because of reasons he never could relate to.  But take it from all of us who know this dark side of who we are which we call humanity.

It is dark because in times of strife, in times of war, in times of decadence, we relate to the minute factor which prevails and gives us reason to be bad.  To be our worse.  We relate to that because it causes an excitement, an extreme from which we can waver because being good all the time is a trial.  There is no excitement quite as bloodletting, as bringing a sword across the body to plunge.  The idea that I am king is strange to those like you (I find the only worthwhile competition is against oneself to strive to do better) but to the one who finds the excitement in the competition with an Other, it is heroin to the mind.  It is an aphrodisiac to the body and a stimulation like nothing else.

We are not proud of this you understand and when the fit, and it is a seizure is over, there is a denial, there is a remorse, a regret, a sin that covers our hearts.  When your son transited he wondered how you could love him when he had known such dark places.  But the one you brought into this world and loved into being was the one you sent out.  He became accountable and paid his dues.

When your mentor, your friend, thought man should be accountable, he did not wish for man to keep coming back and lamenting his ancestor’s anguish and never lift himself out of his mire.  He wished for every lifetime to meet obligations and become accountable.  This is what making a difference is all about.  Not to become responsible for our ancestor’s inability to fulfill dreams.  Nothing can be done except by the one who tied the knots.  The ones who did not meet obligations are the ones needing forgiveness by their progeny.  There are enough worlds for this to happen in.  Let their gods work it out and take them as responsibility.  It is not for the child to undo the parent’s tribulations.  Let the children be free to make a difference and the whole planet will survive as well as the people in it.  It will be a classroom of supreme order and not the hellish place it is today. 

(excerpt from Reflections Of The Midnight Mind)

For when the bloom is off the rose,
the sunrise no longer flames
the morning sky,
the midnight cannot arouse
the passions to warm
the bleak and fitful cold,

and I see that man
will be forever blind
to his god self certainly,
for he cannot see his divinity
used to hammer and abuse

the divine nature of his reflective self.


An Ever Fixed Mark . . .



love is. . . an ever fixed mark that looks   on tempests  and is never shaken. . it is a star to every   wandering   bark. . . Shakespeare  

I awakened with these   lines committed  .  I who never commits her own work   to memory and realized  that this  was how I wanted   to appear   to my children   and to those I loved, as  an ever fixed   mark that   is  never   shaken  .

Of course  I had to   learn   how.  It meant  forming   a philosophy  and building  it step  by step, readjusting  as  I lived  it and grew. Simple words  but easy it was not.  Struggle  it was through many obstacles  .   But the most desired result I wished  was  to be  depended upon.  The  reasons  were many and personal  but the  disappointments I did not  wish to  foist on the children.

Big assumption?  I was never aware that  it was not what everyone did and simply   not talk of it.  Naive?  Important?  As I look about me in the middle of my eighth decade  I can see my progeny adopting the same  measures.  Their ideas of what  they can  accomplish  and wish to perfect humbles me.  And  that  I am a beneficiary   of their hard work  humbles me further  and fills me with awe.

I wish to kneel before  the  Greatness  of All  That Is with gratitude.  To have  lived  long enough  to say thank you a trillion times and how  proud  I am only to have them say this   is what we are and what  we do.  True values  with perseverance   will work in this physical   world as well as in the unseen ones.  Everything   teaches.

When you listen to what heart and conscience  guide you toward and stay the route,  the gold shows. . . .





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To Make a Difference. . . .

image-1 (2)


We come to help make better.  We come because we hope to make a difference, however small.  The small things, when carried out with concern, can involve a lifetime or many lifetimes.  You cannot change the course of genetic evolution.  It takes its time.  Engineering may be able to code the dna but the emotional evolution  must take its time and in its own time, will either be for the common good or common ill.  We can hope that what transpires will be for the common good.  We  hope that with persistence the individual can decode and overcome what the ancients in their frustration could not bring to pass.  What we hope is that we do not add to the pot of frustrations so that the oncoming generation will have an added burden.


Toward Greater Life

The heart searches parameters
for openings onto worlds
not torn by those intent
on limiting knowledge. .  .

always searching
for those to willingly embrace
the differences challenging
the hesitant heart. . .

We look toward the union
of heart and mind
with the litigious veins
of knowledge, pushing like sludge
thickly through rock. . .

eager to consign edges
toward greater life. . .
knowing always the
least demanding would be
the most sought for.
Even the tardy would give
evolution a jump start.

Never insulting the slower envoy,
always grateful for the god participants,
the larger reality scoops forever
the narrow focus. . .

giving eternity’s starters new life and hope.

photo by John Holmes


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