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Illustration of a bird flying.
  • From Whence Cometh My Strength

     

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    Much comes to mind when I read Jon Katz’ s blog http://BedlamFarm.com which is a favorite. His problems I can relate to because my most formative years were on The Farm.   When I write my memory is always sitting in some farmplace.   His blog by guest writer Carol Gulley on My Farmer and Me took me back again with her words about how it really is with farmers.

    How it was before we really knew how to farm and what it was like rising every morning in a freezing house and getting dressed around the stove pipe which went up through a corner of my sister’s and my bedroom before going into the chimney. How it was before the bathroom was put in because other matters in the barns where our living was made before we could think about improvements in the house. The animals, the cows needed to be milked twice a day and the horses needed tending and the chickens needed to be fed and the pigs needed their nourishment.   My brothers and my sister and I were new to farming, but our mother made the decision to get us out of the city so that we could breathe fresh air.   My father had lung problems from working in the chemical plants and he knew he could make a living on a farm.   But he over estimated his abilities. His inability to understand nutritional needs of plants and animals made for arguments every day.   His memories of farming in the old country were not what our farm demanded.   What we demanded of our land to sustain our large family was not what the quality of soil originally could do. That it did in the long run was due to the perseverance of my mother (who I often said would have been able to run the auto companies without having to go to the government for bail out monies) and my brothers.   They learned what the land needed to produce and what the vegetables and fruit trees and the cows needed for optimum production.   It was not an easy way to live and many times the argument came up to go back to the city.

    Yet my best learning years were on The Farm, where I learned to love the land and my Earth planet was like wearing her as a second skin.   Memory told me of other times and places where I was able to flourish with a sensitive heart but also with an awakened mind.   Old city friends visited in their new clothes and polished cars.   And my mother gave them baskets of strawberries and crisp apples to take home.   I do not remember money being exchanged. My mother’s way was to pay it forward. My sister went to market with mother with fruit, vegetables and eggs and those years brought real money home.   It is not a way to live for the fainthearted. Much to my chagrin, I also learned to love heavy cream as a staple yet and missed it sorely during the years of marriage when budgeting to the penny was crucial.

    Carol speaks true. Her words bring to mind many memories that were difficult for the teenager I was to live through. But living through those times helped me to grow in ways I could not imagine. Throughout my life I yearned for horizons where sky met my earth with no obstruction.   My eyes hungered for the places from ‘whence cometh my strength.’

    (The Red works I have made is a deeply satisfying thing now for me to do.   I missed it completely during the years of parenting when it peaked. They are for sale. Contact me if you are interested. I use old wood patterns for my block designs.)

    August 23, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
  • An Ever Fixed Mark

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    An Ever Fixed Mark

    What can be written
    that has not been written before?
    What are the new voices saying
    to old hearts turning mellow?

    Not much one hears
    is different except
    the ever fixed mark
    which shrouds a piece of truth
    and shows its consistency.

    It is exactly that. . .
    an ever fixed mark as the old salt said.
    We guide our actions
    and think our thoughts
    in its direction.

    Heaven fixed the mark.
    Upon this tablet it is written
    that one must learn
    to love oneself primarily,  else
    the same imperfect thoughts and actions
    drive a wedge clearly through us. . . . .
    But first adhere;  the mark does not fail when

    it is etched in cursive splendor upon the heart.

    Artwork by Claudia Hallissey

    August 21, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
  • Argument With Crossed Signals

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    Another Argument with Crossed Signals

    There was a maxim often repeated when I was growing up that one never ‘tempts the gods.’ My ‘sense of’ justice and unfairness peaked early for me for which I was punished. When I was a child, I was puzzled  that the big people did not take issue with this unfairness. Later I questioned, why a positive statement could not be made without the old fear following, ‘if the gods allow?’ Or when humanity graduated to one god, the dictum became, ‘if god wills.’ It is a dastardly thing to do to people, this division of desires and penalty. The world criticizes the negative attitude and says you must be positive. And churches on the other hand teach free will and then hangs it all with providing it is ‘god’s will.’

     The Teacher Speaks. . . .Is it much of a free choice when one desires the good and then must have it tagged with if god allows? Again we must look at beginning and see where the churches fail, if they do. Our anthropomorphic god must be dusted off periodically if we are not to destroy ourselves. In the beginning there was much power thrust onto the priests and this was with people’s choice and desire. Who wanted full responsibility for his actions? Who wanted the knowledge that would free man and allow him to assume the course of his life? Look at it fairly. The church simply took upon itself to give man what he wanted. He wanted a father god to look out for him. The chain of command grew and soon there was no differentiation between the nearest priest and the almighty god. The priest was father in fact as well as fancy. He absolved the sins, he raised the Eucharist and played the part as the connection between man and his god. What behooved man to be a conscientious objector to the lusts and materialistic desires which satisfied the flesh when he knew that by donning a mantle of humility and reading off the list of his sins, which were legion, that he would be absolved of his indiscretions and made new again?  

    What composed the list of sins? That which man decided separated him from his god. Were they sins? Or were they just actions, albeit infantile of a people not grown to adulthood? The line is a slim one. Man knows and knew always what he was capable of. We have a case of wanting the cake and eating it too.   Can you see why this particular planet is unique in its ability to teach the striving soul of its responsibility?

    Ideas manifest in the quickest possible way. You dream of a desire and within its context it materializes. With little obstruction. And with this manifestation, man soon realizes or not so soon that this does not satisfy what was a hunger. He learns that he requires more and more or less and less. Within that there is much gained. What man realized was that the initial satisfaction was not long standing, so he prods himself to work harder and harder to afford more and more. Not consciously does he know this. He keeps the carrot on the stick and keeps moving it himself.

    In many ways man gives meaning and an objective to life which would not have meaning otherwise. The otherwise would demand of him an objective look at himself and a life which would need examination. Man steers clear of the inner path because he thinks it is fraught with dangers. The church has pointed this out in many ways.   Stray thoughts do pepper the mental landscape and requires courage to examine them. Easier to say the devil did it and never have to analyze their concept of either the devil or their god.

    The church continues to serve man until it finds it serves no one. When man takes upon himself the responsibility of his choices he will know he cannot blame anyone for his inabilities concerning his life. Then and only then will he gain the plaudits saying his is a job well done. Man has taken blame when things fail and in humility when things work out gives credit to a greater power than himself.  Unfair.   The good of one man in its highest sense will be the good for all men. How can something which benefits truly one man not benefit in its largest sense, all men?

    August 18, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
  • The Reclused

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    The Reclused

    We do not violate
    the solitude cherished
    as a milch cow
    on a painted pasture.

    We usurp with kindness
    any benevolence dispensed
    on us as gratitude.
    What are we for

    you might well ask,
    since in previous times
    we reclused to the woods,
    garnering ourselves

    to buffet so many affairs
    as insults to our intelligence.
    It is not our distaste
    for people

    but games played
    and displayed
    to compete and outsmart
    what the Great God

    dispensed as common sense.

    Photo by John Hallissey

    August 16, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
  • Not A Whim Of The Potter

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    It is a wonderful play on words when we are given a phrase and then run like the wind with it.  I was reading about a ‘sense of snow’ and the history of it.  How someone with this sense can tell you many things when seeing a footprint in the snow and who made it,  which direction he came from and where he was going.  It is a wondrous sense.

     We have also a sense of time.   With this comes our feel for history,  where someone or something comes from and the circumstances surrounding the event. Jane http://littlehousehomearts.blogspot.com has this valuable sense. In her feel for the civil war fabrics, she reveals what the times were for women, how they functioned in the mud and rain, with their lack of wares; how hard the winter was on everyone, what they had to do to care for the sick and wounded.  Women gathered together to make blankets from materials at hand.   All this background when added to the traditional home arts which spoke of the sense of time, sense of Spirit when handling fabric of that time.

    There is also a sense of place, a sense of self, a sense of who we are and what we bring to the moment.  It sums up what we do in gathering ourselves, however many parts of our self and bring to the present moment the substance of us.  It is a rich substance we are to give our present meaning.  We will take the fullness of today into tomorrow, into our future to give meaning to whatever world we find our tomorrow in.

    When we see our place in the larger scheme of things, when we enlarge our premises and push out boundaries, we see how we contribute to universal evolution.   It is our purpose in life in this dimension to contribute to all of life.  It takes elastic thinking to think in these terms, but we are not an incident or accident of life with no meaning.  What we do for one we do for all we have been told.  We are familiar with the widow’s mite; she gave all she had, but contributed.  We can apply this ‘sense of’ whatever talent we possess.  When we contribute to ongoing life we enhance evolution.

    As the wise Ethel Waters said,  ‘I am somebody.  God don’t make no junk.’  We are not a whim of the Potter.

     

    August 14, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
  • Take A Minute Here. . . .

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    Life without illusions is still worth living simply because it is sweet and beautiful enough as is.  In any dimension.

    It is a psychic affront when the need to rest in front of the fire finds one has to build it first.  But no fire warms as well as the fire one builds with one’s own effort and has to fan.

    To heal from within is the only true healing.

    The right to truth is mine to uncover.  The right to conceal belongs to the Other.

    Conscience is installed to monitor one’s life for one’s survival.  Conscience is memory of acts done to one with memory of pain.

    We are our belief system.  As we stand, so it is we teach.

    There are worlds being spun out of glossy webs that bespeak of spun sugars.

    You cannot fool the nature of souls because souls have a way of propounding the innocent and the complex.  In the midst of all that is done, the soul will fathom the doer and know beyond doubt what the motive and process has been.

    You cannot chain a wild horse.  You also cannot chain a Spirit that requires larger premises.

    You cannot erase lessons learned unless understood is the reason for those lessons.

    The dipping into the River of Forgetfulness does not always wipe out those pieces that rise time and again demanding that we do something about them.

    Life is everlasting and everlasting.
    When I finally understood this,
    I became very tired.
    The vineyards await.  Salut!

    August 10, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
  • Stop it! Don’t Hurt Him! He’s My Brother!

    Exhibition

    When much is given, much also is required. At what price, at what value is understanding?

    The Teacher

    As I look back upon the growth areas of my life, I still see the influence of the child within me. My family alternated between deep affection for me and a perplexity they could not reconcile. Mother often blurted out that she did not know where I came from nor where I got my ideas. She certainly did not teach me!

    The clapboard house we lived in had a wondrous mystery about it. As an ethnic family, we lived in the cellar. The upstairs was kept for ‘good.’It was whitewashed with a large furnace in the center. Every one of us had our corners in what I see as a huge area. Things were done in a certain way and values kept. Within the nooks of the cellar my sister and I had a huge double doll bed our father built. Our mother made the doll bedding. Against the wall of the fruit cellar my brother closest to my age had his space. A long table braced against the wall held all his balsam models. They hung from the ceiling with wires and smelled wonderfully of wood and glue. One’s head became quite light and one had to come up for air periodically. This brother spent hours over his models with the sensitivity of a surgeon.

    The balsam was my undoing and his. I would sneak a piece now and again and happily munch on the coveted pieces of wood. I can still feel my teeth gently smashing into them for the sheer pleasure. I would be on the lookout for these rare strips on the floor. But one day in a fit of craving I walked off with a section marked for major work. Possibly a wing or side panel. When my brother found out what I had done his anger was monumental bringing tears and loud voices from everyone. He was in hot pursuit for revenge.

    Suddenly my father appeared with the cat o’ nine tails. My father held it and tried to hold onto my brother. I saw what was happening and screamed the scream that rang through the house and the door and into the ethers and no doubt rings there still.

    ‘Stop it! Stop it! Don’t hurt him! I love him. He is my brother! He is my brother!

    And my father did not know how suddenly he turned into the bad guy trying to keep his daughter from being killed by her brother. I don’t remember that the cat o’ nine tails ever came down on my brother’s psyche but it did on mine. I swallow slights and injustices and they lay like iron allies in the pit of my stomach. My behavior was that of a thoughtless sibling but the fear and horror of my brother’s punishment was that of a god witnessing the violation of another god. I could not articulate it of course, but I knew intuitively.

    My words? Torn from deep within, perhaps screamed lifetime after lifetime but elevating that portion of us in flesh.

    Stop it! Stop it! Don’t hurt him! He is my brother! He is my brother!

    The Teacher said that out of the heart’s abundance the mouth will utter its words. Innocently out of sheer frustration, out of love, out of hatred will come the heart’s abundance. What we grant to ourselves, we must grant to others and sometimes in spades.

    (Excerpt from The Last Bird Sings
    for $15.00 plus $3.00 shipping)

    August 7, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
  • Suffer The Little Child

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    The Teacher Speaks. . . . Any human action which must delve into its past for a pattern for progression is bound to fail.  There must of needs be new attitudes, new forms of behavior that speaks to the new man and new times.  A reaching back to the cradle for behavior, for mannerisms befitting the child to become adult is never a course of action to follow.   The state of the progression must be one to choose an upward and though tentative step, it must be forward to be progression at all.  The past must be forgiven its transgressions because those involved were not adult enough to know better.  They truly did not know what they do.   And because in our new knowledge,  we do,  we forgive but do not forget ever the behaviors that crippled us.   And we will live never to inflict hurt upon those we touch.  Let our attitudes be such that there will be gratitude in that we lived.  

     

    Suffer The Little Child

    There are magic words
    in my head
    and yours, too,
    turning upon themselves

    like prayers.  They invoke
    graven images
    cast upon the  mind
    in forms to be worshiped.

    We uncover them like idols
    in the churches of our choice,
    when the season or
    the time of solstice

    assures us this is proper.
    We bow before them
    with reverence.
    We pay homage or penance

    for untold sins
    and beg forgiveness for our humanness.
    We forget we once
    shared space with them,

    helping to make them so beautiful.
    Instead, we consign ourselves
    to these words of magic
    and pretend that we are

    what we always were.
    Denying ourselves a profit,
    commensurate with our work,

    we suffer the little child, forever.

    August 4, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
  • You Cannot Teach Thirsty. . . .

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    The Teacher Speaks. . . . you cannot make a horse drink when it is not thirsty. You cannot do it. Only when the thirst is there will the horse or the person or the being know to drink to satiate. But you cannot teach thirsty. You cannot teach learning. You cannot teach hunger. You can be the example that would make others want what you portray. You can be the font of learning but unless you can excite the turgid brain of the Other by showing how wondrous the fountain of facts can be, there will be no learning. You have to be the example that would make them want. And you cannot teach want unless you first show that what it is has made you into someone they would like to be. And there will be those someones who will look upon you and see what it is you have made of your life and how you think and what your hands can do and they will think that maybe if I tried??? And if they begin, heaven will step in and show them how. But the heavens need a someone on the premises who sets the example. .

    The Immortal Quest

    I live this life
    with staggering numbers,
    in singular purpose.
    I’ve come bent on a quest
    of my own immortality;
    propelled and struggling to duplicate
    a vision, a dream, a love of what I know
    to be the truth of me.

    I’ve chosen a frame of reference
    of height and depth
    that would reflect the best of me.
    And in that narrow web of thought
    found dimensions in construction.

    I’ve gathered, harvested,
    ideas of equal splendor;
    discarded, disclaimed what mind
    in honesty could not accept.
    But found instead a reality
    that claimed and captured
    the illusive content of a world
    destined to please.

    With gentle persuasion
    life interrupts the empty mind
    to inject with soulful purpose,
    hints determined to arouse
    the sleeper to action.

    For those of sterner stuff
    and artful cooperation,
    the syncopation is accelerated.
    The heart notes the mind’s distress
    and with dispatch
    teaches the acolyte accordingly.

    I would have you chase rainbows
    for that pot of gold.
    I would have you search
    the bottom of the sea
    for the pearl of great price.
    I would have you follow
    your heart’s dream.
    For in the quest of
    the illusive content,

    your immortality will be sealed.

    August 2, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
  • Not In My Understanding. . . Orphans All

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    It was not in my understanding that the New Testament scripture so often quoted ‘ suffer little children and forbid them not,  to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of heaven’ that the children would never grow up.  If what was meant was innocence and wondrous awe I could believe.  But what I have seen is that the child in the adult body refuses to grow up and the errors propounded causes suffering.  One sees the results of children having children all over the media whether one reads or watches.  The Nazarene no doubt thought there would be sufficient inclination to want to mature and understand life’s purposes and primarily its responsibilities since he introduced the Father God concept as familial as opposed to the unmerciful Old Testament God.   In this way, evolution would have taken its course and mankind would be progressing and peace on earth would be possible and not a hopeless venture.   To be a seventy year old human being and called cute or boyish is not charming.   It is a death knell for evolution and a hopeless prayer for peace on earth.  It saddens me to think that what I wrote over thirty years ago is more true today than ever before.  Please read the poem,  Orphans All. . . .

     

    Orphans All

    Naked and alone we stand
    even when we are covered,
    when we are shoulder to shoulder
    and cannot extricate ourselves
    to find an inch of breathing space.

    In the bosom of this family
    we hang tight to our sources
    of strength we think,
    those who have borne us,
    who have nurtured the very psyches
    which hurt and who have
    cut us down to size they say,
    for our very own good.
    Now they stand aside and wonder
    why we do not succeed.

    The child clings he thinks
    to the wisdom of the ages
    but in a moment of truth
    shudders at what he will become.
    Still nursing the child ego at seventy
    reveals the lifelong buried fears.
    But when the father cannot father
    because his father could not father
    because his father could not father,
    the child remains an orphan forever,
    unless driven to understanding the error.

    The mother cannot mother
    because her mother could not mother,
    ad infinitum; herself remaining the child.
    The world fills with androgynous children
    silently afflicted with doubt assailing
    their conflicting roles.

    In search of immortality
    which advancing age decrees
    and the grave beckons, the ego insists
    there is time enough to make a difference
    for the world to long remember
    but our progeny insists their time is now.
    Father did,  the child does better.
    Mother did,  the child exceeds.
    It is called evolution.

    The father who has been a son
    and the mother who has been a daughter,
    will release their roles.
    Humankind will mightily progress
    when the species of man
    views direct participation in work

    which keeps man whole and holy.

     

    Painting by Claudia Hallissey

    July 31, 2015
    Veronica Hallissey
    Veronica Hallissey has been writing since the 1960s, with her poetry published in a variety of small press magazines. Born into a farm family in Lockport, NY, and educated at the University of Buffalo and other midwest institutions, she brings and unusual point-of-view to her poetry, combining strong natural images with a deep spiritual language. She lives in Ramona, CA.
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